Overcoming Fears
by Elizaellen
Summary: This story takes place immediately following the episode “The End of the World.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

**Overcoming Fears**

_This story takes place immediately following the episode "The End of the World". All lines that are borrowed from the show are not my property but belong to the show and its creators._

As fierce and ferocious as the storm had been, the calm that now settled on Colorado Springs was just as deep. The clouds had already dissipated leaving millions of stars twinkling down on the town. A weak crescent moon bathed the meadow in a soft glow. There was a deep quiet that had settled on everything as the townspeople left the church to head to their respective homes. Soft words of love and comfort could be heard between some but none above a whisper. Sully had one arm wrapped around Michaela and one around Brian as they stood outside the church smiling up at the stars in the sky.

"Look Brian, there's another one," Sully said pointing out a falling star that was making its way swiftly across the sky.

"Thank you," Brian uttered his voice full of a resonating joy. He smiled at the heavens.

Michaela turned to him wondering who he was thanking and became more confused when she saw his upturned face. "What?"

"Oh, nothin'," Brian returned crinkling his nose up and shaking his head.

Michaela let out a light laugh as she looked first at Brian and then at Colleen who she had her other arm around. They all shared a smile. She felt Sully's arm on her shoulder pull her in towards him and she turned to look up into his face.

"I need to stay with Horace in town tonight. Would you take the children to the homestead and stay with them there?"

"Of course," Sully answered feeling a little disappointed that Michaela wouldn't be with them. The hour was late but he couldn't help but feel the desire to be close to her for a little while longer. All the emotion of the day had taken its toll. When he had arrived at the church and found she wasn't there his heart had felt as if it had stopped. Yet within the next moment she had walked through the door into his waiting arms. Just the memory of that one terrible second was enough to make him want to hold her the night through.

"Ma, can we stay with you?" Colleen ventured.

Michaela looked down at her daughter ready to argue but the look on her face changed her mind. "That would be nice," she simply said.

"Dr. Mike," Myra called as she walked over to join the family. "Can I see Horace now?" she asked with an eagerness clearly showing on her face. Her hand gently caressed her swollen abdomen as she longed to reunite with her husband.

"Yes Myra. We're all heading over now," she replied looking down at the children. The crowd around the church was already lighter and they joined the throng of people now making their way across the bridge towards town. Sully no longer held onto her shoulder but dropped his hand to her side safely enclosing his fingers around hers. Giving them a light squeeze, he smiled over at her once more making Michaela's heart speed up at the sight. Gently she bit on her bottom lip, feeling lost in the deep blue of his eyes and wishing that they were alone. The desire to feel his lips upon hers burned within her though she didn't dare act on it in front of so many people.

As they approached the clinic, the door opened and Hank stepped out onto the porch. Glancing over at Michaela he gave a little half smirk. "'Bout time ya got back here," he said acting as if he had something important to do.

"Is he okay?" Michaela asked wondering if Hank's statement meant that something was wrong.

With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Hank causally replied, "He's fine. In there mumblin' about some telegram or somethin'."

Myra could wait no longer she pushed past Hank making her way into the clinic.

"You left Hank with him?" Colleen looked from Michaela to the saloon owner with a quizzical expression on her face.

"I wanted to be with all of you," Michaela explained. "And Hank here was gracious enough to make that possible."

"That's your ma's fancy way of sayin' she didn't leave me a choice." He chuckled as he stepped down off the porch. "If my services ain't needed here, thought I'd head over to the saloon. Some people may feel like celebratin'." They watched as Hank made his way across the street. Out of nowhere, Loren went flying by on a horse headed out of town. Sully and Michaela shared a smile at this sight.

"Sully would you help me move Horace up to one of the recovery rooms?" she asked remembering her patient inside. Sully nodded and followed her into the clinic leaving Brian and Colleen outside alone.

"Brian, why did you take that meteorite back to where you found it?" Colleen asked curious about her brother's actions.

"Cloud Dancing told me that it was someone's soul. I didn't know that or I never would have taken it. I thought God was upset with me so I wanted to put it back. I thought maybe then he wouldn't end the world." He looked up at Colleen now. "It worked, he didn't."

Colleen smiled down at him thinking how silly it was to believe that. She opened her mouth to tell him but then closed it again as she thought about her own actions over the last couple of days. While she had only worried and been afraid about the end of the world, Brian had tried to find a way to stop it. Even if his actions had been silly, still he had tried. Her mind began to swim with the events of the past few days and she suddenly felt very foolish herself. Her fears had been as irrational as Brian believing that he could stop the end of the world by putting some rock back where he had found it. Yet at the time everything had seemed so real. Looking around at the many people returning to their homes, she sighed. She had not been alone in her belief that the world really was ending but somehow that didn't make her feel much better.

Matthew joined them on the porch at that moment breaking her silent reverie. "Tell Dr. Mike I'm gonna take Ingrid home before I go to the homestead."

"We're stayin' here tonight," Brian piped up.

Matthew nodded. "Then I'll be back in a little while." He turned and walked to where he had left Ingrid with her sisters leaving Colleen and Brian alone again. They each were looking up at the night sky marveling at how still everything was.

Sully stepped out onto the porch placing his hands on Brian's shoulders. "Sure is a beautiful night," he said, his voice low not wishing to disturb the peace.

"Is Ma still with Horace?" Colleen asked.

Sully shook his head. "Gettin' the other room ready for ya."

With that Colleen slipped into the clinic and up the stairs. As she passed the first room, she heard Myra's soft voice speaking soothing words to her husband. She continued on and stopped in the open door of the next recovery room. Michaela was busy setting up a cot in the corner.

"Ma?" Colleen called.

Michaela turned towards the door. "Colleen, come on in. I was just setting up an extra cot but the room is ready. I'm sure you are probably tired." Colleen nodded her head but remained quiet. Michaela frowned at the pensive look on Colleen's face. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Michaela asked taking a seat on the side of the bed and motioning for Colleen to do the same.

Colleen sat down beside her letting her head drop so that her chin rested on her chest. "I feel silly," she whispered.

"Silly? Why do you feel silly?"

"Oh, Ma, you told us the world wasn't gonna end but I didn't believe you," Colleen exclaimed suddenly throwing her head against Michaela. "I let myself get all caught up in what everyone was saying." Michaela brought her arm around her daughter and began to softly stroke her hair.

"You aren't the only one who believed it," Michaela reminded her.

"I know," Colleen replied hesitantly. "But you didn't." She raised her face slightly to look at Michaela.

Michaela exhaled slowly as she chose her next words carefully. "That doesn't mean that I've never been afraid of something that later I realized it was silly to be afraid of."

"Really?" Colleen asked her eyes studying Michaela carefully.

"Really. When I was young my sisters told me that if you left your feet out from under the covers the monster that lived under the bed would eat off you toes. I didn't sleep for two days after that because I was so afraid that my feet might slip out by accident." Michaela chuckled softy as she finished. Her laughter was contagious and soon Colleen was laughing as well.

Yet the light moment was broken as Colleen became quiet once again. Her face was set in the direction of the door and she grew very serious. "But that was silly. There are no such things as monsters. The world is going to end someday. The Bible says so."

"True but it doesn't tell us when that day will be." Michaela looked down at Colleen as she said it and realized that things still weren't settled in her mind. "We don't know the future Colleen. We don't know what may happen tomorrow. When I came out West I was scared to death thinking about what might happen."

"But you came anyway," Colleen said. "I don't think I could ever do something like that. Look how I behaved over some silly comet."

"It didn't seem silly to you," Michaela reminded her. "And I'm sorry that I didn't take your fears seriously instead of ignoring them. It's not wrong to have fears or to be afraid but we can't let that consume us because if we do then it paralyzes us. Do you understand?"

Colleen smiled up at Michaela in understanding. "Brian was afraid too but he tried to stop the world from ending by returning that meteorite. He didn't let his fear paralyze him."

"Exactly. I was afraid when I came west and I was afraid when your mother died and left me with the three of you. It would have been easy for me to give up in both cases but I knew that if I let my fears get the best of me it would only be my own loss. Each fear we conquer sends us on to bigger and better things and teaches us that nothing is impossible if set our minds to it."

Colleen snuggled in against her mother's side. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you too," Michaela returned resting her cheek against Colleen's head.

A soft knock on the door frame caused them both to look up. "Can we come in?" Sully asked his hand resting on Brian's shoulder.

"Sure," Michaela smiled rising from the bed. "I thought Brian and Matthew could share the bed and Colleen could sleep on the cot."

"Where are you going to sleep Ma?" Brian asked.

"I'll get some rest down in the examination room but I'll have to be up throughout the night to check on Horace." She stopped and looked around. "Where is Matthew?"

"He took Ingrid and her sister's home," Colleen replied.

"Okay, well, let's get the two of you settled." She looked at Sully as she said this wondering if he would stick around for a little while.

Sully misinterpreted the look as a sign that it was time for him to go. "I'll say good night then." Michaela's face fell slightly showing her disappointment.

Brian turned to Sully and hugged him around the middle while Sully mussed his hair. "Good night Sully."

Colleen walked over to him as well. "Thank you," she said reaching up to hug him around the neck.

"Night," Sully replied as Colleen moved away. He turned to head for the door casting one last glance at Michaela. Michaela wanted to ask him to stay but the words seemed to stick in her throat. Nervously she glanced over at him. "Night Michaela," he said his voice warm and inviting.

"I'll be downstairs in a few minutes," she managed to choke out hoping he understood. A slight nod of his head made her heart soar as he slipped out of the room closing the door behind him.

* * *

Down in the examination room, Sully anxiously awaited Michaela. He sat at her desk thinking about the day he had convinced her to fly a kite with him. The excitement in her eyes as it had soared above the trees was like that of a little girl. When the string broke and it sailed off, her eyes had fallen. Sully had watched as before his eyes she transformed back into doctor mode. If only he could remind her that living each day to the fullest meant more than patients and schedules. That sometimes it was okay to take a day off to simply have fun and enjoy being with one another. 

The minutes continued to tick by and he wondered if he had understood her last statement correctly. What if she hadn't intended for him to wait for her at all? He began to feel anxious and decided to move to the porch. Stepping out into the brisk night air he breathed in deeply. The air smelled cool and clean after the rain that had fallen. He drank in the scent feeling intoxicated by is as well as the millions of starts that twinkled down at him. Sitting down on the bench, he tilted his head up so that he could watch the night sky.

Michaela settled the children and then checked on Horace who was resting comfortably with Myra at his side. She assured them that if they needed anything she was only a few feet away. Then she made her way down the stairs anticipating a few quiet moments with Sully. As she opened the door to the examination room, her heart sank. It was empty. Sully hadn't understood that she wanted him to stay. Letting out a sigh, she moved across the room and began to tidy up. It was then that she noticed the telegram on the floor. Quickly she bent over and picked it up laughing at what she found written there.

"What's that?" Sully asked from the doorway. She turned around her eyes lighting up at the sight of him.

"Sully!" she exclaimed.

"Were you expecting someone else?" he teased. The look on her face confirmed that he had done the right thing in staying and it made his spirit soar that she wanted to be with him now.

"I just… I thought…," she stuttered as a light blush crept across her cheeks. "I was afraid you had already left," she finally managed to whisper.

"I went outside to look at the stars," he said crossing over to her. "Ya wanted me to stay, didn't ya?

Michaela nodded her head as she gave him a crooked smile before looking back down at the telegram in his hands. "Looks like my telegram was answered after all." She handed it to Sully.

"Utter nonsense. There is no such comet," he read out loud and then chuckled. "Dr. Quinn is right again."

"You're not mocking me are you?" Michaela asked. Sully feared he had upset her but the playful look on her face told him otherwise.

"Wanna sit outside with me for a moment?" he asked extending his hand to her. Michaela nodded and took his hand allowing him to lead her out of the door. The night was beautiful but chilly. She let go of Sully's hand to cross her arms over her chest burying her fingers beneath her arms for warmth. "Are ya cold?" he asked.

"I can get my coat," she replied quickly.

"Share mine," he said before she had a chance to turn. He opened up his coat to her. Michaela looked up at him and found herself mesmerized by his eyes. Her first thought had been to protest but she now walked towards him. She slipped her arms under his coat and around his back huddling close to him. Quickly he wrapped the jacket around her holding it closed in the back as he pulled her even closer.

"What a day," she whispered laying her head against his chest and feeling the soothing beat of his heart.

"Is Colleen okay?'

"I think so," Michaela answered. "It's funny sometimes. I know my job as a parent is to help the children learn and to grow into responsible adults but sometimes I feel like they are the ones teaching me."

"The Cheyenne say that grown men can learn from little children because their hearts are very pure," Sully whispered into her hair as he rested his head against hers.

"Tonight I was telling Colleen to not let her fears get the best of her and I couldn't help but think about myself."

"You're one of the bravest people I know."

"There are things that frighten me, things I'm scared to admit to anyone."

"Like what?"

"I'm scared to lose the ones that I love," Michaela began suddenly embarrassed that she was going to share something so personal.

"That scares us all, Michaela," Sully assured her. "Why would ya be scared to admit that?" Michaela felt her cheeks grow warm. Sully knew she was stalling now, embarrassed to say anymore. "Ya don't have to tell me," he whispered.

"I want to," Michaela returned her voice barely audible. "But it's hard." Sully remained quiet but lovingly rubbed her back giving her the time she needed to speak. "I don't like to not be in control," she revealed. Sully was still silent. Michaela pulled back a little to look up at him. "Did you hear me?" she asked. "Because I'm sort of pouring my heart out here." Her face was lined with worry as she looked at him.

Sully couldn't help but laugh which made her grimace all the more. "Sorry," he said. "I am listening. I was just waiting for the shocking part."

"Sully," Michaela said her face breaking into a smile.

"I know you don't like to feel as if things are out of your control," he repeated to her, putting on a more serious expression.

"My life has always been very ordered. Even as a child there was a schedule to keep." Sully cringed inwardly at that thought but knew that was part of what had made Michaela who she was. "You aren't like that Sully. You come and go as you please. You can let yourself relax and have fun in the middle of the day."

"You can do that too Michaela. I saw that the other day when we were flying the kite."

"I'm sorry about that," she whispered anxiously biting on her bottom lip.

"You're sorry about what?"

"Giving up so easily. Hiding behind work and responsibility." Her voice was quiet again and Sully knew she was talking about more than simply the day they had flown the kite.

"That's okay. I love ya just like ya are. I know some things are difficult for ya." His words stirred her hair as he spoke. Her face was upturned now toward his and he couldn't resist lowering his head and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "Of course that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop tryin' to get ya to loosen up a little." His eyes sparkled with amusement.

"I don't want you to stop trying," she responded. "I kind of like feeling irresponsible every once and awhile."

Sully laughed trying to imagine an irresponsible Michaela. Yet even as he laughed her face had grown serious again. "What is it?" he whispered.

"Sully when were you most afraid?" The question hung in the air for a moment while he absorbed it. Closing his eyes he thought back allowing himself to relive some of the most frightful times in his life.

"It's hard to rank fear Michaela. There've been several times I was petrified."

Her words were soft but compelling. "Tell me."

"When my mother died," he whispered. "I was all alone." His eyes remained closed as he spoke. Michaela felt the weight of his words and wriggled a hand free bringing it up to gently stroke the side of his face. She waited for him to continue. "The night Abigail went into labor." A tear escaped from under his eyelid and Michaela stood on her tiptoes to kiss it away. Still Sully's eyes remained closed and Michaela knew he wasn't finished yet. "The day I told ya I loved ya on the train and ya walked away."

Michaela felt her heart tighten within her chest as he admitted this last part. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. She managed to bring her other hand up as well framing his face. Her touch made him open both eyes so that he was looking down into hers. "I didn't have any choice. You told me at the very moment I couldn't do anything."

"I know," he whispered in return. "That's what I told myself all the way home to stop myself from thinking about my life without ya in it. I just kept thinkin' that ya would be on that next stage. That ya had to follow but my heart was still so afraid. I remember ridin' into town the morning ya came home and wondering what I was gonna do if ya weren't there. I've never felt more relieved in my life than when I saw ya step off that coach."

Never before had Sully shared this with her. His words stirred her deep within and suddenly she felt the small distance separating them was still too much. Sully sensed the same thing and he quickly brought his lips down to hers. Michaela tensed as she remembered they were in plain view of the town even if it was well past midnight. Sully felt it and pulled back sensing her thoughts. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be sorry," she said. "I need to get over my silly fears." They shared a smile before Michaela whispered, "Kiss me."

Sully needed no further invitation as he felt her relax again. Her hands entwined in his hair bringing his face down toward hers as she anticipated what was to come. Sully could feel his heart beating loudly in his chest as they moved closer together. The thought that within a matter of months she would be his wife made the moment that much more special. Taking a deep breath, he allowed her scent to wash over him until he could stand it no longer and brought his mouth down to meet hers. The first kiss felt soft and unsure but things quickly heated up as their desire for each other increased. Sully slowly opened his mouth and ran his tongue along her bottom lip. Michaela moaned softly in the back of her throat and opened her mouth to him. The fear that someone might see them threatened to overtake her again but as his tongue found hers, she pulled him closer, clinging to him as he hungrily kissed her again and again. Slowly he pulled back and looked down at her, feeling even more aroused at the desire he found written in her eyes. Slowly he brought his hand to her face tracing her kiss swollen lips with the pad of his thumb.

A shadow moved out on the road and she knew someone was coming. Yet instead of pulling away she moved in towards him and just to prove to herself that she could boldly reached up and kissed him again. Sully growled back in his throat in response deepening the kiss as he did so.

"Excuse me," came a soft voice causing them to pull apart. Michaela knew she was blushing furiously at being caught like this but she turned pretending that nothing out of the ordinary was happening.

Matthew grinned at Sully and her. "Didn't mean to interrupt," he said suppressing a laugh.

Michaela stepped away from Sully. "That's alright. We were just saying good night."

Matthew gave them both a questioning look but stepped to the clinic door. "Good night," he said with one more sly look at Sully before he opened the door and slipped inside.

Sully looked down again at Michaela. "Thank you," he said knowing she had purposely pushed on through her fear to let him know just how much he meant to her.

"Thank you for being so patient with me." Again he leaned in and placed a soft gentle kiss on her lips. "Good night," she giggled slipping out of the warmth of his coat and into the night air.

"Night," he breathed stepping back to sit down on the bench. "I'll be right here if ya need me."

Michaela walked backward to the clinic door refusing to break eye contact with him until absolutely necessary. "Sully?" she asked tentatively.

"Mmm-hmm?"

"Will you take me kite flying tomorrow afternoon?"

Sully grinned broadly. "Sure," he said giving her a wink.

Michaela returned the smile before letting herself inside the clinic. Sully watched the door close feeling as if his heart could burst with love. He stretched out his body along the length of the bench looking up into the night sky as he did. Another shooting star made its way to earth and he smiled to himself. Closing his eyes he whispered into the night, "Thank you for bringing her soul to me."

The End

* * *

_Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think by leaving feedback here or on the Dr. Quinn forum._


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